Crush on someone who is in a relationship

How can I work on my relationship? What you need to talk about will depend on your situation, but you might like to think about the following: Do we spend as much time together as we used to, and if not, why not?

Do we make time to have fun together or just relax together? Have we been taking each other for granted? Moving on from the crush — practical steps We develop crushes on all kinds of people. More details about our telephone counselling, webcam counselling and Live Chat services can be found here.

Details of your local Relate service can be found here. Did you find this article useful? We hope so. There were over 11 million views of articles like this on our website last year.

This kind of high-quality, expert advice from our experienced counsellors takes a lot of time, effort and money to produce. Your donation means we can write more. Are there people who have an open relationship of some kind to account for this very thing? Are there partners who totally get it and know that crushes are normal? Yeah, of course there are!

Crushes can actually improve your existing relationship. Having a crush is a motivator. When I have a crush, I tend to tack on an extra four sit-ups to my ab routine, I dress nicer, and actually do my hair. Not in an effort to be noticed by them necessarily, but because having a crush on someone can give you a renewed sense of how you come across to others, which both you and your partner will benefit from. Carve out some time to sit down and be honest with yourself about what this crush is all about.

If, for example, what you really want is to have more exciting sex with your partner, or if you and your partner fight about the kitchen renovation every evening after work, then the issue is that, and your crush is just the symptom.

Talk to your partner about whatever issue it may be before your crush starts to seem like the answer to all your problems. But a crush can also be a wake-up call. Crushing on someone can be illuminating about what you need. Maintain those boundaries. Note that in this piece, we are focusing on couples in monogamous, exclusive relationships. In open or polyamorous arrangements , the rules may differ; acting on crushes may be permissible or even encouraged.

It may have more to do with you and your family or relationship history than it does with the person. A crush that starts innocently enough might begin to cross the line into emotional affair territory if left unchecked. One telltale sign: When you get news, good or bad, is your first instinct to tell your crush or your partner?

So what should you do if you suspect your feelings are more serious? For starters, do not reveal this to your crush, Hardie-Williams said.

Have a strategy planned for exiting a social situation if things are heading in a direction where the line could be crossed. Our experts insist there is no black-and-white answer here.